


Levity Is a State of Mind

by stilitana



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Alien Technology, Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Panic Attacks, Psychic Bond, Team Bonding, hm...the ot3...perished before it ever got going...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-21 15:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14288268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilitana/pseuds/stilitana
Summary: When Gary messes with some alien technology, the crew of the Galaxy One finds themselves sharing a little more than anybody's comfortable with. With tensions running high and unwanted revelations cropping up left and right, his mistake and the emotional intimacy it leads to will test the team's newfound trust.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place at some undisclosed time before episode six...just roll with it. There's time travel in this show I can set fics whenever I want.  
> If you want to talk Final Space or anything really you can find me on tumblr at electriclobster.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, as always comments and critique are most appreciated and make my day. Thanks for reading!

The Galaxy One had not made a stop for provisions in five long years of solitude until Quinn came aboard and assumed a sort of semi-captainship through sheer force of will. It wasn’t fair.

“Why is it that the second we have guests, you’re so very helpful, HUE, hm? Tell me that! When I’ve been here for five long years, begging you, _pleading_ with you, to stop just once. Just once!” Gary said, hands planted firmly on the white round table where they were viewing a hologram of the small trading outpost they would shortly be departing for in the shuttle. It was a moon of a gaseous planet, a backwater place where anyone this far out inevitably washed up.

“For the twentieth time today, Gary, because you are a prisoner aboard this ship, and Quinn is not.”

“Ooh, a supply stop. Can I come? Gary, I’m coming,” said KVN.

“Oh, _ho, ho,_ no you are _not,_ ” said Gary. “You are a public menace. Look at the state of the ship! It would be a crime to unleash you upon the innocent masses. A crime against life! You destroy everything you touch!”

“We’re so much alike,” KVN said, dreamily. Quinn snickered.

“Shut up!” said Gary. “Go away from me! Even you cannot ruin this day, KVN. On this day...I will _mingle._ ”

“Gary. It is against the rules of your sentence for you to ‘mingle.’”

“I think we’re a little beyond the rules of my sentence by now, HUE,” said Gary, gesturing at Quinn, Mooncake, and Avocato. “I’ve been mingling! Just add some days, it’ll be worth it.”

“I could actually use his help, HUE,” said Quinn. “If that changes anything...say it’s Infinity Guard business, or something.”

“You...could use my help?” Gary said. “I mean, of course you could.”

“As a pack mule,” said Quinn. “If I stand a chance of going up against whatever else is in my way, I need supplies. Maybe a lot of supplies. You can carry things.”

“That I can, Quinn. Oh, yes I can.”

They decided to leave Mooncake aboard the ship as well lest any traders or informants of the Lord Commander see him and start getting ideas. The three of them went down in the shuttle dressed casually, their weapons hidden in sheaths or beneath jackets.

“Gary, what’s the matter with you?” Quinn asked as she piloted the shuttle to the surface of the moon.

He was sitting beside her, hands gripping the armrests. His face had gone pale and he was breathing shallowly. She would have said he looked on the verge of panic, but that couldn’t be right.

“I’m just so excited,” he said, giving her a strained smile. “This is great. This is big. A big deal, you know? How many people are on this planet again? A lot, right? Lots of people?”

“Keep it together,” she said. “Don’t go getting too excited. We don’t want to attract attention to ourselves. This place’ll be full of professional thieves and cons who know how to spot a tourist.”

“Don’t you worry about old Gary. I’ve got it all under control.”

“Do you have a place in mind to start looking?” asked Avocato. “I wouldn’t mind looking at weapons myself. Something a little...unconventional, maybe.”

Quinn grinned. “Then you’re in luck. I’ve got a shop in mind, sort’ve a catch all, but the merchant, he gets all the best stuff coming through this place. He’s got an eye for what’s valuable. He’ll try to sell you a bunch of other stuff you don’t want anything to do with, but other than that we shouldn’t have any trouble. Don’t try and haggle with him, though. The price he sets is the price he means, and he won’t take less. You’ll insult him, and then he'll kick us out.”

“Noted,” said Avocato.

“I’d like to look for snacks,” said Gary. “Any fun local food, Quinn? What’s the cuisine?”

“We aren’t here to eat,” said Quinn.

Gary sighed. “Yeah, I know, we’re here to look at big guns and other murder accessories. At least you two aren’t hard to shop for. Just say, hey, I want your biggest, most murdery, most devastatingly—whoa.”

They landed and the hatch fell open, revealing the bustling marketplace full of all manner of beings going this way and that. All of the movement was difficult to process. Gary sat there staring until Quinn told him to hurry up. She and Avocato had already exited the ship. Gary scrambled out after them.

“You ok?” Avocato asked.

“Me? Yeah, totally, I’m super ok,” said Gary. “This is awesome. This is big, huh?”

“I’d say it’s small to mid size, as far as markets go,” said Quinn.

“Look out,” said Avocato, tugging Gary out of the path of a many-legged lumbering creature. “What’s the matter with you? You look scared.”

Gary scoffed. “Scared? Me? Scared? Of what? No. It’s just that, you know, it’s been a while since there were so many things to look at. So many _moving_ things. Like, more than one. A lot more than one moving thing. I mean, two, whoa, ok, that’s already sort’ve like, _whoa_ , slow down. But this is like... _a lot_ more than two.”

“Uh-huh,” said Avocato. “Just keep it together until we get back to the ship, ok? Everything’ll be fine, just stick close to me.”

Gary was too overwhelmed to feel patronized. He nearly gasped every time someone in the crowd jostled up against him, which was frequently. Every touch was like a static shock. He couldn’t keep himself from wincing and flinching at the kaleidoscopic sights and sounds around him.

“This is so fun,” he said through gritted teeth. “This is so exciting. I am having a great time, this is exactly what I wanted, I have been waiting forever for this, I am going to enjoy it _so help me God._ ”

“We getting close?” Avocato said to Quinn, nodding his head at Gary when he caught her gaze without him noticing. Quinn looked at him and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the theatrics. Still. He was starting to look a little pale and frightened.

“This way,” she said, and ducked beneath a hanging tarp into a tiny storefront, dimly lit and smelling of aromatic smoke coming from two candles on a desk, behind which sat an octopus-like creature with eyes on stalks that bent toward them.

“Quinn Airgon,” it purred. “What a delight.”

“How do you know this guy again?” Gary hissed.

“I get around,” said Quinn. “Hey Lumis. We’re here looking for the good stuff.”

“Of course you are. I’ve got some items in the back from a new shipment that might interest you.”

Gary perused the barrels full of objects and various hooks and guns and nodules hanging from the walls. He followed Quinn and Avocato through a sliding door into a back room where crates overflowed with weaponry. Avocato immediately turned away and began rummaging through a crate. One thing in particular caught Gary’s eye. It didn’t look like a weapon. It seemed more like a desk fan, with a wide, conical array attached to a stubby handle. It was like a mini satellite dish with a series of spokes attached to the center. It was brightly colored and inviting. The handle looked squishy and comfortable.

“If you want to see the specialty stock, I’d prefer if you left your...companions at the door,” said Lumis. “I’m sure you understand.”

Gary bent toward the crate. He reached for the object. It was as comfortable a grip as it had looked. Immediately upon picking it up it began to warm in his grip. He almost gasped and dropped it but didn’t dare let Quinn or the shopkeeper see he’d touched it, so he quickly stowed it behind his back.

“I do,” said Quinn. “Gary, Avocato, could you wait out front? I’ll only be a minute.”

She turned and saw Gary giving her an uncomfortable smile. It was obvious he was holding something behind his back. “Gary, put whatever you’ve got down,” she snapped.

He set it back on the crate and held his hands up. The spokes had started to spin and light up at his touch but began to slow again once set down.

Quinn narrowed her eyes at both of them and then turned to follow Lumis down a hall.

“It’s broken anyway,” Gary muttered. “Look.” He picked it up and pointed the bulky array at Quinn. “Pew pew,” he said. “See? Nothing.”

“Did you ever think maybe squeezing the handle isn’t how you shoot it?” said Avocato.

“Uh...no,” said Gary, turning the thing around to stare at the spinning array. It was strangely hypnotic. He felt like his eyes were being sucked into its center. “Oh...whoa...this thing, Avocato, it’s trippy, look.”

“It’s not a toy, Gary,” Avocato snapped. “Who knows what kind of shady places this guy gets his guns from. Put it down, before you shoot your eye out.”

Reluctantly, he did so, still unable to tear his gaze away from the spinning spokes. Before his hand could leave the grip, a bright light suddenly burst from the array, momentarily whiting out the room.

His vision came back into focus after a couple seconds of white blotches and smeared colors.

“Damn it, Gary, what was that?” said Avocato, rubbing his eyes.

Quinn, who’d had a sudden terrible feeling that sent her back down the hall, was at that moment in the entryway. She came into the room with her arm flung over her eyes. “What are you doing?” she said. “I told you not to touch anything!”

Lumis followed after her, apparently unbothered by the flash of light.

“I—I didn’t mean to!” said Gary, blinking rapidly. “I barely touched it! It just started spinning, and lighting up, and then, oh boy, it _really_ started lighting up.”

“Well...it doesn’t seem like it’s done any damage,” said Avocato. “Just a really, really bright light.”

“What is that thing?” Quinn asked. “What’s it for?”

“I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head,” said Lumis. “As I said, all of this is a new shipment, it hasn’t been sorted or catalogued yet. Well, there’s no taking it back now. If you’d please escort your friends elsewhere, away from my inventory where they won’t be tempted, I will look for any information on it that may have come in with it, and let you know.”

“Great,” said Quinn through gritted teeth. “That’d be perfect.” She stomped across the room, Gary following meekly at her heels, Avocato trailing behind.

“Just wonderful, Gary! That’s just great! You got us kicked out!” Quinn said.

“Well, are you sure? ‘Cause, I don’t know, I think what that guy said was sort’ve open ended, did he really ask you to leave?”

“Yes, Gary. People around here are very touchy about their stuff! As are most merchants, as are most people who have ever sold or owned anything! They don’t want strangers messing around with it.”

“Sorry, Quinn,” said Gary, trying to sound sincere even as the throngs of people pressed in on them. Quinn was cleaving a path right through the crowd, elbowing people out of her way, and it was doing him no favors in the personal space department trying to keep up with her. “I shouldn’t have touched anything. I’m sorry I kept you from looking at your favorite merchant guy’s stuff. But maybe this is an opportunity. Maybe there are cooler merchant guys, with cooler stuff, that you don’t know about.”

Quinn shook her head. “This whole thing was a mistake. We shouldn’t have come. I’m wasting time. No technology, no weapon can help me if the whole Infinity Guard is after me. I have to do this myself.”

“Well, not all by yourself,” said Gary. Then he stopped talking. Suddenly it was getting hard to breathe. He put his hand on his chest, where his heart was hammering as if it wanted to burst from his chest. He could feel it beating throughout his entire body, the hot blood pounding in his fingertips, behind his eyes. He felt lightheaded. “Something’s, um, going wrong, I think,” he gasped, reaching out for Avocato’s arm. “Um. Something’s not right. I don’t know. I can’t...breathe, Avocato, I can’t catch my breath, oh my god.”

“Easy, Gary,” said Avocato, falling back and putting a hand on Gary’s shoulder. He kept moving forward, nudging Gary along with a gentle pressure on his shoulder and back. “We’re almost at the ship, buddy.”

The crowds thinned at the docking area and Gary scrambled up the ramp and then pressed himself into the corner of the ship, slid down the wall and hunched over. “Am I dying? I think I’m dying, Avocato, am I having a heart attack?”

“What’s wrong with him?” Quinn demanded, leaning over Avocato’s shoulder as he kneeled down in front of Gary.

“I don’t know,”  Avocato said. “It could be so many things! Something the gun did, an allergic reaction to something out there his body hasn’t encountered before, or just stress.”

“Stress?” Gary wheezed. “This is not just stress, Avocato.”

“Gary, can you slow down your breathing? You’re hyperventilating,” said Avocato. He didn’t look so good himself, worry and panic mounting in his eyes. Gary had never seen Avocato look panicked before. It wasn’t helping him calm down.

“No,” he gasped. “I can’t...stop…”

Quinn was twisting her hands in front of her chest, her eyes darting around the cabin of the ship. “I don’t...something isn’t right. Something weird’s going on.”

“Agreed,” said Avocato.

“What do you mean?” Gary said. “What’re you talking about?”

“I’m gonna run back and talk to Lumis,” Quinn said. “And then we’re getting out of here.”

“We should just go back up to the ship!” Avocato said.

“I hardly think taking off is going to help him calm down!” Quinn said. “It’ll only take a minute. Stay here with him, I’ll be back soon.” She darted down the hatch before they could further protest.

“Tell me what’s happening, Gary,” Avocato said, keeping his voice low and soothing.

“I can’t breathe, I feel like, like I’m dying, my chest hurts, everything’s spinning, Avocato, what if I’m losing it? I feel like I might really be losing it this time.”

“You’re shaking,” Avocato said.

“So are you!” Gary said.

“Not nearly as much as you! Gary, has anything like this happened before?”

“I don’t know, maybe? Maybe? Not like this, not this bad. Not in a while, at least.”

His breathing became more erratic and Avocato didn’t think he’d be able to talk anymore so he scooted to sit beside Gary and hesitantly placed one hand on his back. When Gary didn’t flinch away he began rubbing light circles there.

“Sh, it’s ok,” he whispered. “You’re ok. It was just a lot at once, you’re not dying, you just got overwhelmed. It’s not your fault. It’ll pass. Just breathe with me, ok? Deep, slow breaths.”

He was starting to calm down and breathe more evenly when Quinn came barging in, flushed in the face, with fury in her narrowed eyes.

“Avocato,” she said. “Have you been feeling uncharacteristically anxious since we left the shop?”

“Huh?”

“Just answer the question.”

“...Yeah. Yeah, I have. But it’s weird, it’s like it’s…”

“Like the feeling isn't really your own? Like it’s coming from somewhere else?” said Quinn.

“Exactly, how’d you know?”

“Because I’m feeling it too,” she said, directing the full force of her glare on Gary. “This is your fault, Gary! Do you have any idea what that thing you touched is?”

“No,” he said, leaning limply against the wall and feeling completely drained. He stared at her with glassy eyes, his face pale. “Is there, uh...any chance it was maybe harmless?”

“It was a scrapped prototype of a torture device,” Quinn hissed. “It was meant to cut time and costs spent torturing individual prisoners so instead you could do whole groups, but the cost of production outweighed the immediate benefits, so it got scrapped. And you used it on us.”

“Oh, crap,” said Gary. “Is that why we’re all freaking out?”

“No,” Quinn said. “That’s why Avocato and I are freaking out. You’re just freaking out because you’re _you,_ and you’ve basically been in solitary confinement for five years, and severely misrepresented your ability to keep it together down here.”

“That’s not really fair,” said Gary. “How was I supposed to know this would happen? And what are you talking about? What is going on?”

“The device creates a temporary psychic bond between targets,” said Quinn. “In this case, us three. It would’ve affected Lumis, too, since he was in range, but he said his biology was too different.”

“Psychic bond? Way cool, Quinn! Can I read your mind? Can you read _my_ mind?”

“Not like that!” Quinn snapped. “It creates emotional transference. Sort’ve like phantom limb sensations, but phantom emotions that aren’t really yours, getting transferred to you from the initial target, in this case you. Which means when you panic, Avocato and I feel it, too!”

“Oh. So when you say it was meant to be a torture device, you mean...oh. That is dark,” said Gary.

“Could you please for once take the situation seriously?” said Quinn. “We’re all at the whim of however you’re feeling at the moment!”

“Oh, God,” said Avocato. “For how long?”

“Lumis said it can vary, but at least four days,” Quinn said.

“Four—four days?” said Gary.

“You’re starting to freak out again! Cut it out!” said Quinn.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it, I’m an emotional guy, ok? I react to things. This is, like—an invasion of my privacy!”

“How do you think we feel? And before you ask, no, there’s nothing we can do but wait it out. This has been a disaster. Let’s get back to the ship.”

“I feel like I’ve run a marathon,” said Avocato, strapping himself into the co-pilots seat while Gary fumbled with his own straps on Quinn’s other side.

“Like somebody’s drained the blood right out of me,” Quinn said.

“Me too,” said Gary.

“We know you do too,” Quinn growled. “Gary, you could at least have the decency not to feel so...ugh! _Attracted_ when I’m yelling at you?”

Gary blanched and shrunk away from her in his seat, gave her a sheepish smile. “Well, Quinn, since you’re feeling how I’m feeling, you must know that that’s sort’ve, you know, not so _easy_ as you make it sound. You’re a very attractive woman. No less so when you’re angry. Though I do feel badly that you’re angry! I don’t like that I’ve made you angry! It’s just that it doesn’t make you any less _hot_.”

“I’d punch you if it wouldn’t also be like punching myself,” Quinn said.

“Quinn, give him a break,” Avocato pleaded.

“Why should I? This is his fault!”

“I know, but...the guilt...it’s starting to get overwhelming…”

“You’re right,” said Quinn, wincing as she piloted the shuttle back to the Galaxy One’s docking bay. “I feel awful.”

“Like the most low-down, worthless, stupid jerk in the galaxy,” said Avocato.

“Like I should probably be kept away from people, live in a cave somewhere with a sign around my neck that says loser so everybody will know to stay away for their own good,” said Quinn.

“Like I should never have been born,” said Avocato.

“Oh my God!” Gary shrieked, clutching the seat. “You’re making it worse! You’re making it so, _so_ much worse!”

“We are making it worse,” said Quinn, landing the shuttle. Her shoulders slumped. He’d never seen her look so dejected since she became disillusioned with the Infinity Guard. “I feel like scum.”

Gary fumbled with his straps, undoing them with shaking hands and then scrambling from his seat on unsteady legs. He hurried down the ramp, nearly falling in his haste.

“Hey, Gary! Gary! Gary!” said KVN, floating up with Mooncake. “How was your trip? Did you get me anything?”

“Now I’m ashamed _and_ irritated beyond belief,” said Avocato.

“Stop feeling what I’m feeling!” Gary said, his voice getting shrill. “Stop it! Stop narrating! It’s like having voices inside my head, except they're outside, and they’re not voices, they’re people!”

“I can’t get anything done like this!” Quinn said, pointing an accusatory finger at Gary, who backed up into a wall. “Start feeling calm, neutral feelings now, Gary. I can’t afford to be compromised like this. How do you ever get anything done when you’re this emotional?”

“You’re right, I am too emotional,” said Avocato glumly, following them out of the ship, his tail trailing sadly. “All these overreactions, God, I feel so unattractive right now.”

“How am I supposed to feel neutral with the two of you—gah! Ok. This is fine. Neutral thoughts, neutral feelings. Feelings like elevator music. Uh...think about…”

“Something you do that’s relaxing,” Quinn said.

“Uh...sleeping?”

“That will just make me tired!”

“I don’t do a lot to relax, _Quinn!_ Believe it or not, the main thing to feel around here is absolute, soul-crushing _boredom,_ so excuse me if I do everything I can to avoid that at all costs! You can’t just sit around on here, relaxing, you’ll start losing it!”

“Ok, fine,” said Quinn. “Fine. I’m gonna back off. Give us both some space. I need to cool down, I’m...I’m making it worse.”

“Chookity?” said Mooncake, concerned. He nudged Gary’s face.

Gary picked him up and held him close to his face, immediately relaxing. “Oh. Hi little buddy. Sorry, I didn’t even say hello when we got back. How’ve you been?”

Avocato and Quinn made eye contact and both gave relieved sighs. They immediately felt calmer, but also...the sudden explosion of unbridled, unconditional affection was an entirely new kind of overwhelming. Pleasant as the feeling must have been for Gary, it wasn’t one either of them were entirely comfortable dwelling on for their own reasons. Quinn stalked out of the room to work on whatever it was she was plotting concerning the gravitational anomaly.

Before Avocato could follow suit, Gary stopped him.

“Hey, Avocato...thanks for helping me out back there. You, uh. You’re good at that. Calming people down.”

“No problem, Gary.”

“How’d you know what to do like that?”

Avocato thought about his son and coupled with the love still pouring into him from Gary through the psychic bond it was enough to make him breathless. He wasn’t allowed to become compromised like this, to fantasize, to feel. “Someone I know used to get them, when he was much younger,” Avocato said.

“Oh. Well, he sure was lucky to have you around!” Gary said, putting his hand on Avocato’s shoulder and smiling.

Now the affection was mixed with gratitude, and it was directed at him.

Avocato shrugged Gary’s arm off and Gary had never been good at disguising his emotions in the first place, but now Avocato didn’t need to look at the hurt and confusion on his face to know he was feeling it.

“Not really,” Avocato said. “Sorry, Gary, I...I gotta go. I need to clear my head.”

Gary held Mooncake and focused on keeping the sudden, pathetically intense wave of loneliness to himself.

“So...they’re pretty mad at you, huh!” said KVN. “What’d you do? Did you guys have an adventure? Wanna tell me about it? Tell me about it, Gary. Tell me a _story._ ”

Gary narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth. As long as he was annoyed, he’d keep from feeling other, more intense, more personal feelings.

“Alright, KVN,” he said. “I’ll tell you about it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for torturing Gary but it will all be worth it in the end...maybe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh thank you to everyone who read/commented on the last chapter, I really appreciate it! You guys are all very sweet. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Also today I got to register for courses and I am soooo out of this world excited oh my gosh...all my dreams are coming true.)

According to the internal clock aboard the Galaxy One, it was early evening by the time Gary dropkicked KVN out of the kitchen with a strangled yell.

“I can’t take it anymore! I can’t take it! Not even for Quinn and Avocato! Not for _anybody!_ ” Gary said, panting and clutching his head.

“That was almost a record breaking amount of time spent in sustained conversation with KVN,” said HUE.

“That’s not something to congratulate me on,” Gary muttered, slumping in his seat at the booth where he was eating his standard bowl of vitamin and protein enriched gruel. He rarely ate with Quinn and Avocato, for two reasons. One was that he had a very particular schedule that was difficult to break after five years of reinforcement, and the other was that it was painful to watch them eat things that weren’t gruel, but also it made him feel badly when they did eat it just to keep him company.

“Almost?” said Avocato. “You mean you’ve talked with him for longer than that before?”

“ _ Oh my god,  _ don’t sneak up on me like that!” Gary said, clutching his chest and staring wide-eyed at Quinn and Avocato who leaned in the entryway.

“The average longest conversations run at one point five hours,” said HUE, “but the longest on record is twenty-six.”

Avocato and Quinn stared at him in shock. 

“Don’t tell people that, HUE!” Gary said, glaring up at the ceiling despite HUE’s repeated insistence that he might as well look anywhere. Gary shuddered. “Those were the bad times.”

“Of course, that’s not counting the many times your bad or erratic behavior has forced me to make him follow you everywhere for days or weeks at a time.”

“Wh... _ what? _ ” said Quinn, her voice weak. “What could you possibly have done aboard this ship that was so bad?”   


“Everywhere?” Avocato asked.

“Everywhere,” said HUE. “And as far as the misbehavior goes—”

“Nah nah nah nah nah, we’re not listening!” Gary yelled. “Don’t tell people that stuff!”   


“Alright, Gary,” said HUE. “It will stay between us.”

“Thank you.”

“And KVN.”

Gary narrowed his eyes. “One day, KVN is going to have to have a tragic accident.”

“That would be in direct violation of your—"

“I said accident! You can’t prove anything! Hey, wait, what are you two doing here anyway? I thought...I thought you needed space?”

“We got worried,” said Avocato.

“The irritation levels were going from bearable to homicidal,” Quinn said.

“Sorry,” Gary said. “KVN’ll do that to you.”

“Look, Gary,” Quinn said, crossing her arms and shifting from foot to foot. She hesitated, and then slid into the booth across by him, followed by Avocato. “We’ve been talking, and...well, I want to apologize.”

Gary blinked. “Uh...what for?”

Quinn sighed. “I’d say you’re being a jerk, but I can tell you’re actually confused. For getting so worked up earlier, Gary. Actually, wait. That’s not what I’m sorry for. I think I had a fair reaction. I’m still sort’ve pissed you got us into this mess. But I _am_ sorry that I took all that frustration out on you so harshly. It was an accident. An avoidable one, yeah, but still. It’s not like you wanted this to happen. I...I’m not good at this. Being part of a...team. With the Infinity Guard, you work with other people, sure, but it’s not important that you get along, or that you’re kind to each other. I have to remember that...to you this is more than a business relationship.”

“It’s more than that to us, too,” said Avocato. “This thing isn’t permanent, it’s a real pain for now, but it’ll go away. It’s not worth starting fights we can’t fix over. It’ll go more smoothly for everyone if we’re just...calm.”

Gary’s eyes burned. He felt his lip starting to tremble. “You guys,” he said, his voice sounding funny around the tightness in his throat. “You guys are... _ the best. _ ”

“Is a little apology all it takes to get you feeling like this?” Quinn asked, incredulous. “It’s like I just brought your dog back to life, or something!”

“I never had a dog,” said Gary. “Always wanted one.”

Mooncake nuzzled him.

Gary smiled down at him. “That’s right, who needs a dog, I’ve got a Mooncake.”

“I can’t take it,” Quinn said, her eye twitching. “The happiness...it's so much...how are you so...positive?”

“Oh, I’m just like anybody else, Quinn. I take it one day at a time.”

Avocato burst into laughter. Quinn rolled her eyes.

Gary sighed and rested his face in his hands, stared at them dreamily. Suddenly both of them sat up straighter and stared at him, then at each other, then back at him.

“Are you getting something weird?” Quinn asked.

Avocato nodded. “It suddenly just got really warm in here,” he said, putting a hand over his chest.

Quinn nodded. “It was intense, like...this fondness. I’d say attraction, but...more.”

“I feel like there’s a word for this,” Avocato said. “I just can’t think of it.”

“Oh, crap,” said Gary.

“But it wasn’t just attraction to me,” Quinn said.

“I know,” said Avocato. “Oh, don’t I know it.”

They both looked at Gary with their eyebrows raised. He felt his face turn pink.

“Double-crap,” he muttered. “Stop looking at me like that! I can’t help it! You’re both amazing and smart and attractive, ok? Sue me! Spend five years with only KVN and Beth for company, see if your attraction meters don’t get weird! I dare you. It can’t be done!”

Quinn snickered. Avocato looked vaguely shell shocked but was as usual doing his best to be a good sport about it, just giving Gary a fondly exasperated look and shaking his head. 

“It’s getting worse,” Quinn said. Then she giggled. Honest to god giggled. Gary had never heard anything like it in his life.

“Oh, so much worse,” said Avocato.

“Stop making fun of me!” Gary said. “This isn’t—this isn’t a joke! Just don’t think about it, ok? Just pretend you never felt it!”

“I’m sorry Gary, it’s just, wow, was not expecting all of this!” Quinn said, covering her mouth with her hand as she laughed and gestured vaguely at the three of them.

“Is it bad I kind of was?” said Avocato.

“You’re torturing me,” said Gary, numbly. “You didn’t come to apologize at all. This is my punishment. I understand now.”

“If this is how strongly you feel about two people you’ve only known a few days, I don’t wanna know what’s gone down between you and Beth,” said Quinn, snorting. “Or KVN, for that matter. Geez, Gary! I guess solitary’ll do that to a guy.”

Gary stood up, his face hot. “I’m glad it’s so funny, Quinn,” he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I’m glad my feelings amuse you.”

“Ah, hell, now we’ve embarrassed him,” Avocato said, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. “I haven’t felt this embarrassed in...ever.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t have, would you?” said Gary. “Not an ounce of self-consciousness in either of you, is there? What a life!” he said, and turned and hurried out of the room.

“Gary, come back!” Quinn called. “We were just messing with you!”

“I think we screwed up,” Avocato muttered.

“I know we screwed up,” Quinn said, all traces of laughter gone. “He feels...mortified. God. He must think we’re... _ disgusted, _ to feel that badly. But...it was just teasing!”   


Avocato sighed. “Well, it was to us. But he’s taken his feelings for you really seriously for a long time, so hearing you laugh about it probably wasn’t too great. And him thinking that I’m...uh...nice to look at was a secret, I guess. So. Yeah. We screwed up.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Quinn whispered, staring after Gary down the hall. “I can’t even apologize right. I mean, yeah, I don’t...I don’t feel as strongly about him as he does me, but...I’m not angry, or disgusted, and now, who knows what he’s thinking of me. And I shouldn’t care! I shouldn’t care what he thinks! He’s just some guy, and I have bigger things to worry about.”

“Hey,” said Avocato, hesitating before putting his hand on her shoulder. “It’s ok. We’re all learning. I know it must be weird, suddenly having this guy you barely know sort’ve infatuated with you, but...he doesn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I really think if you told him it bothered you, he’d back off. It’s just...I don’t think we can really imagine what it does to you, five years on here. Making videos to you was just another thing I think he had to do to get through it, and he let it become something more real than it ever was, in his head.”

“I know,” Quinn groaned. “I know, it’s not...it’s not that. It’s that I  _ do _ care. Not like  _ that,  _ not like he does, but enough that I don’t want to make him feel like crap! I mean...he trusts me. He believes in me. It’s been...a long time.”

“I know how you feel there,” Avocato said.

“This shouldn’t be what I’m focused on right now,” Quinn said. “I can’t...I don’t have time to chase after him every time his feelings get hurt.”

Avocato sighed. “I understand. I’ll go talk to him.”

“Thank you,” she said, following him out of the booth. She gave him a joking once-over. “Hm. Maybe he’s not totally crazy. You’re not half bad.”

Avocato spluttered for a second before giving her a smirk. “Not half bad? You haven’t seen nothing yet.” He turned and walked down the hall before she could reply, so he missed her jaw dropping as she stared after him in silence. Then she began to laugh. The sound followed him down the hall. He smiled to himself.

In his room, Gary was talking to Mooncake, who on good days had replaced the video recorder when he needed to ramble. “I can’t believe this,” he groaned, holding Mooncake above his head with outstretched arms as he lay on the bed. “But...it’s going to be ok. I can stay positive and have normal human feelings for four days! Four days!” he said, his voice cracking. “That’s, that’s nothing! I mean, sure, I’m sort’ve out of practice, it’s been a while since I’ve had to be, you know, emotionally, like, _functional,_ to a level that’s, you know, acceptable for normal social interaction, but it’s _fine!_ It’s totally within my capabilities! Just gotta bundle it all up like a big emotion burrito, and shove it down deep. Yeah. Yeah...easy peasy. Bottle it all up for four days, that’s—I can do that! Hell yeah I can do that! That’s, like, a thing I can do masterfully! And on the fifth day it won’t matter what happens, I can lock myself in here and nobody’ll know any better except you and HUE! Yeah!”

Avocato knocked. “Gary?”

Gary yelped and scrambled to his feet. “Uh...come in!”

The door slid open. “How you doing?” Avocato asked. “Sorry, about back there…”

Gary scoffed. “What? That? I’m already past it, Avocato, no big deal!”

“Quinn really meant her apology,” he said. “We don’t wanna make this any more difficult than it already is.”

Gary felt his face warming. He’d never expected Avocato to find out about his feelings like that. Or at all. Even he didn’t really know what those feelings were yet, nobody else should, either.

Gary sighed. “It’s fine, really. I shouldn’t have gotten upset with her...I mean, it’s my fault we’re in this mess.”

Avocato folded his arms, looked at the ground. For a moment they endured an awkward silence. Then Avocato said, “I only have one question for you, Gary.”

Gary felt his heart in his throat. Oh, no. Oh god, no. This was it. This was the end of their friendship. He’d made Avocato uncomfortable and now it was all over before it ever got going.

“Yeah?” he said.

“Do you...play cards?”

Gary stared at him in stunned silence for a moment, and then burst into laughter. “Oh, Avocato, you’re something else.”

Avocato grinned. “Come on. It’ll take our minds off things.”

Gary followed him back to the booth feeling lighter than he had all day.


End file.
